Energy-less

why is it that no matter how much effort i put into psycho-ing myself to love and enjoy whatever i'm learning, the result is always the same? the hatred for this course just increases exponentially. sigh. the amount of terms i don't get and the amount of missing links here and there, are enough to drive me nuts and make me feel like giving up. i should start counting how many times i breakdown in a sem, trying to absorb information i don't even comprehend. it just feels as through i'm thrown with more and more absurb terms i've never seen before even when i'm not done digesting whatever that has been taught a week ago. and now that its the fifth week into school, by the end of this week, i would have been lagging by 25 lectures. someone save me please. i'm literally drowning from an overload of information.

not forgetting my tuition classes that's stressing me out as end-of-year (EOY) and O levels are approaching. this means no chance of cancelled classes. stressful but a job which gives me a sense of achievement :)

and trainings for upcoming sunig and ivp. how to skip trng sessions when i know i need to go for them in order to not drown during the major comps :C i'm actually really fine with trngs, its just that i dont have a hall and travelling to and fro jurong is draining me out. imagine being in school from 8am-10.30pm?!?! i only reach home at 11.30pm at times. by the time i'm back, i wouldn't have time nor energy to even start mugging, even if i wanted too. this sucks. ntu suck.

and lastly, cotton on. i know its the least taxing job on me as for now. afterall i don't really have to use much brains to hang bras or fold the panties yea? hahas. but still, no matter how busy i am, i need to show my commitment if i plan to continue working there during my sch hols. and to be fair, we're all part-timers. who doesn't want more shifts during their holidays and less during school term? but i understand that the manger has to be impartial and give everyone a chance to work. she knows that we're all working to finance ourselves. i wish i could take a one month off and return to work in nov. bleah.

okay, enough of rantings. shall head to bed. a very scary week ahead awaits me. :C