Reflections

(a very lengthy and long-winded post. read only if you really want to. pretty boring.)


8 more days to being too-old (2-0). time flies.
i don't even vividly remember thinking about how my life would be ten years down the road when i was younger.

when i was ten, another ten more years seemed so distant , so foreign. it has never occurred to me what my ambitions were, what what i wanna do in the future, or even what i'm gonna be. i just lived like how any other innocent young child do, go to school as my parents told me to and perhaps go for training sessions(i used to swim a lot. and i mean A LOT.) morning training-school-afternoon training-home- homework/tv-sleep-repeat. that was life for me back then. then when we got older, say secondary 3/4, i remember us, the older swimmers, complaining to our coach that all swimmers have 'no life' . and he answered us with ' define having a life to me then ' .
now that i'm much older and definitely more matured, i truly understand the wisdom in those words. looking back, that was life for me, isn't it? it might not have been the best one but at least it was a fulfilling one. one that allowed me to train myself to be more disciplined, and gaining a skill that i can perform better than most others. and i don't think i lost anything in the process. only lots of gain (:

the second part of this post was actually inspired by what shar twitter-ed to me :
"I dont need 2 hv many friends, cos I found 1 tt'll stick by me thru my weakest, tt doesnt judge & support me no matter wht, ♥ you @nuttygigi"

i've known shar since i was 13. i was initially in 1 wisdom but transferred over to 1 purity one week after school started bcos i decided to take up the music elective programme and my previous class's timetable wouldn't match. but i guess it was a blessing in disguise? else, i wouldn't have been able to meet this wonderful and fabulous BFF that i have now. she has been there for me, through my ups and downs. especially after my breakup. i am glad i have someone who understands me, who doesn't pressurizes me, who doesn't judge me, who supports my every decision and respect them. there's nothing to hide between us, we voice out our opinions and views even if they were different.
i believe every single one of us are special and unique in our own ways. and i choose to believe that everyone is kind and nice by nature- no one is born evil. it's the surroundings and environment that shape us to whom we are today. i'm grateful to my family, and the friends i've met and will meet in the future.

anyhow, its been more than 6 months since my breakup. i guess i've moved on. although it was heart-breaking losing someone i loved so dearly, losing my 'comfort-zone', losing someone i could call/text as and when i feel like it, losing myself, but i have grown stronger. this hasn't been an easy journey, like someone thought it would be. but at least it has come to my realization that life isn't all about that someone. its about those who actually cares and loves you. i might not have a wide social circle, but all i need is a small group of friends whom i can talk to without being on my guard all the time. having friends who don't put me down, friends who don't put me as a second priority. i love you all! :D

my favourite ♥


I've learned this past year. I've changed, I've grown. Maybe things do happen for a reason, maybe they don't, but no matter what, they still happen. That's what we need to remember. I learned to stop analyzing things, to just let them happen. And if I get hurt, or if something bad happens, then it happens. There's nothing I can do to change that. I've learned to go with my gut, and that's okay to make mistakes because the ones that matter, won't care. I've learned that love really is great as they say it is. I've learned that your friends can save you from your worst enemy: yourself. And most importantly, I've learned that today is all we have.